


Green

by random_firework



Series: 12 Days of Wincestmas 2016 [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angry Dean, Declarations Of Love, Episode: s04e17 It's a Terrible Life, First Kiss, Getting Together, Love at First Sight, M/M, Season/Series 04, Suspicious Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 09:14:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10084655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/random_firework/pseuds/random_firework
Summary: "He had green eyes, so I wanted to sleep with him. [...] I wanted to take him home, and rough him up and get my hands inside him, drive my body into his like a crash test car. I wanted to be wanted, and he was very beautiful, kissed with his eyes closed, and only felt good while moving.”Richard Siken





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WetSammyWinchester](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WetSammyWinchester/gifts).



> Written for the eighth day of Wincestmas on Tumblr.
> 
> The scene takes place in the episode _It's a Terrible Life_ (with Dean Smith and Sam Wesson), after they have killed the ghost of Sandover, when they talk in Dean's office. This is a take on the way the scene where Sam tells Dean the truth about his dreams could have gone. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

“Remember those dreams I told you about with the ghosts?” 

“Yeah?”

“I was fighting them.”

“Okay.” Dean processed the information but didn’t look as perplexed as Sam thought he would be. After what they had seen that night, not much would be surprising them now, after all. 

Sam gritted his teeth and looked at the carpet. He just had one more thing to confess. “With you.”

This time, Dean was more surprised. Not angry, though, so it was a good thing. That’s what Sam thought to have enough courage to continue.

“We were these, like, hunters, and we were friends. More like...” The vivid images of his dreams passed before his eyes and made him blush, he could feel it. He glanced at Dean. He had perfectly understood what Sam was talking about and he was staring at him with a frown. Sam couldn’t decipher the look in his eyes. They had flirted all day long when they were preparing to hunt the ghost but now Sam wasn’t sure his feelings were reciprocated by Dean. But they had to be; it wouldn’t make any sense otherwise. 

“I mean, what if that's who we really are? I mean, you saw us back there, working together.”

“That's insane,” Dean calmly said. He got up to sit on the windowsill behind his desk.

“Look, all I know is this isn't who we're supposed to be!” Sam argued. A little too loud maybe, judging by the way Dean had stood up. He took a deep breath before clarifying his thought, more peacefully. “All I know is, I got this feeling in my gut. And I know – I know that deep down, you gotta be feeling it too. We're supposed to be something else, together. This isn't you. I know you.”

Strangely, Sam felt like he knew the face that Dean was making and the cold way he looked at him. It didn’t make it less hurtful. 

“Know me? You don’t know me, pal. You should go.” Dean’s voice resonated in the room like a sentence. 

Sam tried not to focus on the cracks in his heart. He couldn’t let it end like this. If only he could make him understand…He took a step further to Dean, only to have him take three steps back and reach for his phone.

“Do you want me to call the damn cops? Just go away.”

Sam put his hands up as a sign of peace. “Dean, please, just give me a chance to explain myself.”

Dean seemed to hesitate. He bit his lips and looked away. 

“And if you don’t like what I have to say, I’ll leave, I promise,” Sam added. 

Dean crossed his arms on his chest and stared at him sternly. “Okay.”

Sam took a deep breath. He had one last chance, he couldn’t mess this up. “As soon as I saw you, as soon as you looked at me I-”

“Yeah, okay, alright, I heard enough, you can leave,” Dean sighed. He turned away from Sam and looked at the dark city through the window.

“Uh…what?”

Dean didn’t answer.

“Dean, I don’t-”

“It’s the eyes, isn’t it?” Dean vociferated, suddenly turning back to him. 

Sam threw him an inquisitive look. How did he know that?

“Don’t give me that look, Sam! Listen, I don’t know what guys like you have for green eyes, okay? I don’t get it. But this has to stop!”

“I-”

“You know what? I’ll save you an explanation. You saw my eyes, my mouth, my height, or whatever, and I bet you thought: _What a pretty little thing. I want him to be mine. I want to rough him up, fuck him against his desk, tie him up, make him beg for it._ And you know I’m gonna say yes and take it good. So you try to make me fall for you with your nice words – let me just reassure your ego: they usually work. And I bet you even think you’re sincere right now. But let me tell you how it ends. You fuck me once, make it good for both of us, and then you leave. You’re happy, got your green eyes, and you move on. You know what? I don’t care if you like one night-stands; one night-stands can be great! Just don’t make me imagine other things and never call me back, for Christ’s sake!”

Dean crossed the room quickly to open his fridge and serve himself a drink. Sam took it as an opportunity to talk.

“I’m sorry that you only met douchebags like that, Dean. I really am, it sucks, it’s disgusting. But I’m not like them.”

Dean stared at him. His eyes were still filled with rage, but it didn’t seem to be directed at him particularly, so he went on.

“You’re right, it’s the eyes. But I didn’t think about…sleeping with you right when I saw you, or even after. And I mean, yes, you’re handsome, of course. But when you looked at me across the room, when I met your eyes, it awoke something in me. I don’t have a lot of memories of my childhood, and the few I have are blurry, and so is everything in my life, even right now: my friends, my family, my ex’s…But you, you looked at me for half a second and my life was clearer than it has ever been. When I’m with you, it feels right, safe. It feels like home.” His throat tightened but he forced himself to finish. “I don’t know what it is, soulmates, reincarnation, love at first sight, whatever. I just feel that it’s supposed to be like this, you and me.”

“How do I know that it’s true, huh? That it’s not just words?” Dean’s voice wasn’t vehement anymore. He rather seemed tired and sad. His tone and his words broke Sam’s heart.

“Look into yourself. You must be feeling it too.”

“Yeah, I don’t really trust my feelings anymore with stuff like that,” Dean said, looking at his empty glass. 

“Trust me?” Sam proposed with a self-conscious smile.

“I...” Dean once again turned away and leaned against his desk. “You should really go now,” he finally said in a shaky voice.

“Dean?”

“Please go.”

This time, Sam left.

 

**

 

The next morning, Sam was just getting out of the shower when he heard a gentle knock on his door. No one ever knocked on his door. He foolishly hoped it would be…no, it couldn’t be. 

But it was.

“Hi.”

“Dean?”

They both looked at each other for a few seconds. Sam was paralyzed. He had had time to think about the unpleasant position he had put Dean in the other night and to wonder why he had acted like such a macho jackass. Dean, him, seemed uncomfortable. He glanced at the corridor behind him before biting his lips.

“Can I…?”

“Oh, yeah, sure, of course, sorry,” Sam stammered, stepping aside to let Dean in. 

Once he was inside, Dean seemed to gain some confidence. 

“Listen Sam, I’m sorry about yesterday.”

“Don’t be. I should be the one apologizing.” 

Dean shrugged. He tapped the table with his fingers and looked around before speaking again.

“Look, I thought about what you said…”

“About…?”

“Leaving everything to hit the road and hunt ghosts.”

“Oh.” 

“It’s crazy. And dangerous.” Dean looked up at Sam. “But if you still think it’s what we’re meant to be, if you’re sure of it, then I’m with you, all the way. If you still want me, of course.”

Sam stood gaping. He wasn’t expecting that at all, especially the sincerity in Dean’s voice. “Are you serious?” he asked once he had recovered the ability to speak.

Dean nodded. “One hundred percent,” he added. “We still have details to settle, of course, but…yeah. So, you’re in?”

After surprise, happiness overwhelmed Sam. “Yeah, you know I am!”

“And – uh…about the other thing…”

After expending, Sam’s chest suddenly tightened. _It’s alright. Whatever he says, it’s his choice, it’s alright_ , he repeated as a mantra in his head.

“You were right about that too. I do feel the same thing. You may have noticed I have…a hard time trusting people, but I want to trust you, and I know in my guts that I can. So…as long as you promise you won’t leave me on the side of the road when you get tired of me…”

“I would never do that,” Sam said softly.

“It might take me a little time but…” Dean smiled. “Well I already trust you enough to get on the road with you to hunt ghosts that will try to kill us so I think I’ll get there pretty soon.”

Sam drank in the sight of Dean. How could he ever get tired of him? In addition of being gorgeous, he was smart, funny, caring. He was everything Sam needed in his life. He wanted to kiss him, hold him in his arms, drink milkshakes, fight monsters with him – do everything with him. But if Dean needed time, of course he was going to give it to him. He could wait forever for him.

Dean seemed to read his thoughts. “You can still kiss me if you want. I know I want you to,” he said with a smirk.

Sam came closer to him and Dean didn’t step back. He cupped his cheeks and Dean closed his eyes. He was beautiful like this. 

When their lips finally met, his heart jumped in his chest. _That’s it_ , he thought. _I’m finally home._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it :)  
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!


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